Well… Apparently She Wasn’t Dead After All

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my menopause journey and the case of my ever-missing libido.

I talked about how somewhere between menopause, a long-distance relationship, stress, health struggles and just plain old life, my sexual health had pretty much packed its bags and left without giving me a forwarding address.

I also mentioned that I was looking into peptides as part of my own journey.

Well, ladies…

I tried one.

And apparently, she wasn’t dead after all.

Who knew?

Looking back, saying I was “struggling” with my sexual health may have been a slight understatement.

Intimacy had taken such a back seat that it wasn't even in the same vehicle anymore.

And intellectually, I knew intimacy and pleasure were important. I knew they mattered in a relationship. I knew maintaining that connection with your partner mattered.

But knowing something and actually feeling it are two very different things.

When your cup is completely empty, someone asking you to pour a little more out of it isn't exactly sexy.

There were days this poor man would look at me with that look, and instead of thinking romance, I was envisioning life in prison.

The concerning part?

Some days prison sounded rather peaceful.

Three meals a day. No bills. Nobody touching me.

I'm kidding.

Mostly.

Something Had to Change

I didn't want this part of me to disappear.

Not simply because I'm in a relationship, either.

Because I missed her.

I missed feeling feminine.

I missed wanting touch instead of tolerating it.

I missed that little spark inside your body that reminds you you're more than the person solving problems, paying bills, worrying about everyone, dealing with hormones and trying to get through another day.

So, after doing a lot of my own research, asking questions and looking at the different options available, I decided to explore PT-141 as part of my own journey.

And because I know someone's going to ask…

Yes, I did have to figure out where to find it.

Peptides can be a confusing world to navigate, and I'm definitely not suggesting anyone blindly follow what someone else is doing. I'm simply sharing what I've tried, what my experience has been and what I've learned along the way.

If you're curious about my experience or have questions about this part of my journey, you're always welcome to reach out privately.

Now that we've handled that part…

Let's talk about what happened.

Oh. Hello There.

It woke up senses I was reasonably certain had dried up, shrivelled away and been lowered into a tiny hormonal grave.

It wasn't some crazy switch where suddenly I became a completely different person.

It was subtler than that.

I became more responsive to touch.

I noticed things again.

And strangely, I felt more feminine.

I don't really know how to explain that last part because femininity isn't something you can measure on a lab test.

I just felt more like me.

And that may have been my favourite part of the whole experience.

Sometimes We Just Want to Feel Again

Life can be fucking horrible sometimes.

There. I said it.

Health struggles.

Family drama.

Financial pressure.

Trying to survive the rising cost of absolutely everything in Canada.

Exhaustion.

Loneliness.

Depression.

Relationship stress.

Hormones.

And whatever particular roadblock life has decided to throw in front of you that week.

Eventually, we're not even necessarily unhappy.

We're just depleted.

And when you're running on empty, pleasure becomes another thing you don't have the energy for.

That's what I think we sometimes miss when we talk about women's sexual health.

We immediately make it about sex.

But for me, this has been about something bigger.

It has been about feeling again.

Feeling connected to my body.

Feeling receptive to affection.

Feeling feminine.

Feeling like there is still a woman underneath all the responsibilities and stress.

And yes…

Having some damn fun doesn't hurt either.

What About the Downsides?

My overall experience has been positive, but that doesn't mean there weren't things I noticed.

PT-141 is an injection, so there's that.

Because apparently menopause wasn't enough—we needed needles too.

For me, the injection itself was minimal. I noticed a little burning while it was going in, followed by some temporary itchiness around the area. I didn't experience noticeable redness or swelling.

As for how quickly I noticed the effects, that wasn't completely consistent for me.

Based purely on my own experience, I generally noticed changes somewhere around one to three hours afterward, although it varied.

And again, it wasn't some uncontrollable LOOK OUT, SHE'S BACK situation.

It felt more like a helping hand.

No pun intended.

Okay.

Maybe a little intended.

Ladies, Make Yourself a Priority

Ladies, if you're experiencing a loss of libido, intimacy, confidence—or even that feeling of love and connection with yourself—I am begging you to make you a priority.

That doesn't mean you need to do what I did.

It means finding what works for you.

If you've been reading Pillow Talk for a while, you already know I'm willing to try things.

I research.

I ask questions.

I experiment with different approaches.

I use therapy.

Although, let's be honest, therapy for me is sometimes more like visiting a friend, having a coffee and unloading everything going on in my life.

Except this particular friend is legally bound not to gossip.

Honestly, it's a fantastic arrangement.

But that's what works for me.

Your answer might be completely different.

It might mean talking to your doctor about menopause or hormones.

It might mean therapy.

It might mean addressing pain or discomfort during intimacy.

It could mean discussing whether medications you're taking are affecting your sexual health.

It might mean pelvic-floor therapy, relationship counselling, better sleep, managing stress, exploring what actually feels good to you now—or simply having an honest conversation with your partner.

Because women's sexual health is complicated.

Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can affect desire, arousal, vaginal comfort and the way our bodies respond sexually.

But hormones aren't the only piece of the puzzle.

Stress, exhaustion, medications, health issues, depression, relationship problems and plain old life can affect desire too.

So please don't automatically decide:

“Well, I guess this is just who I am now.”

You don't have to stay exactly where you are.

Ask questions.

Educate yourself.

Talk to someone.

Find out what options exist.

And if the first thing you try isn't right for you, that doesn't mean there isn't something else that might help.

There are ways to support our sexual health, our emotional health and our relationships—and sometimes getting help with one piece starts bringing the others back to life too.

Most importantly, do it for yourself.

Not because your partner wants more sex.

Not because you're worried you're failing someone.

Not because society tells us what a woman is supposed to be.

Do it because you deserve to feel at home in your own body.

And Gentlemen, This Part Is for You

If you're a man reading this because your partner's desire has changed, please educate yourself too.

Being a woman is fucking hard sometimes.

Our bodies can change underneath us while we're still trying to work, raise families, maintain relationships, manage homes, pay bills and function like nothing is happening.

If the woman you love suddenly doesn't want to be touched the way she used to, don't immediately assume she doesn't want you.

Talk to her.

Listen to her.

Learn about menopause and women's sexual health.

And understand that pressure usually isn't going to make someone who already feels depleted suddenly feel sexy.

Sometimes the most intimate thing you can give a woman isn't sex.

It's understanding.

It's patience.

It's affection without expectation.

It's helping fill the damn cup instead of standing there wondering why there's nothing left in it.

And ladies?

You are allowed to fill your own cup too.

My Verdict So Far

For me personally, the side effects I've experienced have been minor, while the improvement in how I feel has been significant.

But the biggest win hasn't simply been libido.

It's remembering that sexual wellness isn't frivolous.

Pleasure isn't something women are supposed to quietly give up once menopause arrives.

And intimacy isn't only something we owe our partners.

We deserve to feel connected to our own bodies too.

Maybe that's the part of this journey I hadn't understood before.

I thought I was trying to get my libido back.

Instead, I found another little piece of myself.

And apparently…

she still has a pulse.

So now I want to hear from you.

Has menopause, stress, exhaustion—or simply life—changed the way you experience intimacy?

Do you think women are given enough space to talk honestly about losing their desire?

And maybe the biggest question…

Why are we so comfortable talking about every other part of menopause, but the minute the conversation turns to pleasure, everyone suddenly whispers?

Let's stop whispering.

Fina
Veni, vidi, vici